What do you do if you suspect cheating in a relationship, but lack evidence as proof? Be brave and act on your inner feelings! Most people sense something has gone awry, but don’t trust this sense. They mistake their discomfort not realizing it is an indication that something is off, like cheating in a relationship. Gavin de Becker, author and acclaimed consultant on threat assessment, refers to suspicion, anxiety, apprehension and doubt, as informants, messengers of instinct and intuition. Like secret agents operating from an inherent intelligence center, they sound a call for action by disturbing your status quo. These signals usually intensify, until you do something, so act on your inner feelings.

 “Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.” Jonas Salk

Below are two amazing stories which demonstrate how exact and brazen the sixth sense is, particularly when love and intimacy are involved. The first is a personal account.

I was eighteen, a young, and naïve freshmen in college, with extra sensory perception.  I started dating a med student who was a number of years older than me. He was in an intern program at a prestigious university and I was attending a renowned teacher’s college in the same city. We met at my department director’s monthly potluck, which was open to current students and alumni. Tim had gone through the under graduate program I was enrolled in.  He was smart and handsome and I was captivated by his charm.  One evening he invited me over to his place.  He lived on the third story of a huge Victorian house which the university converted into dorm rooms. We sat on the floor listening to music, sipping tea and talking. It was late nearing midnight when the doorbell rang. Tim didn’t stir but his demeanor most definitely changed. His facial expression dulled. He looked dazed. Our conversation was hushed.  The visitor rang the bell again and waited awhile before turning to leave. Tim crept to the window and peered through the curtains. It was obvious he was hiding and didn’t want to be seen. It was awkward and very odd. How could anyone see anything from the street? We were three stories up and the lights in his room were off! I peeked out the window too, out of curiosity. The street was scarcely lit. All I saw was the dark silhouette of the woman’s back as she walked to her car. “Who was that?” I asked. “Oh it’s just a friend of mine. Her name is Lily.  She’s just a friend” he repeated. I knew there was more to this story.

Weeks later I went to the food co-op run by the university’s students. I walked in with my roommate and began shopping. Something caught my attention and spurred me to look back towards the door. A woman and child were walking in.  I felt a rush of adrenaline and grabbed my friend’s arm. “San, I said. See that woman? That’s Lily the woman who showed up at Tim’s the other night.” “How do you know? You said you didn’t get a close look at her.”  She was shocked at my assertion. “I don’t know how I know.  I just do. I am going to find out.” “What if you’re wrong?”  I didn’t stop or think.  I was calm, clear and on a mission to expose the truth.   I truly felt emotionless as I walked towards her. “Hello” I said pleasantly extending my hand. “Is your name Lily?” I asked. “Yes, do I know you?” she asked looking bewildered. “No, we’ve never actually met, but I think we are dating the same man! His name is Tim.”  The look on her face, said all I needed to hear. I spoke with Tim a few days later and confronted him. He was apologetic and gave me a poem that Lily wrote about me, titled, The Cat.

I never saw Tim again. I wondered how Lily handled his infidelity. Perhaps she should have written a poem titled, Dirty Dog, for him.

 By eighteen I recognized and counted on my informants, messengers of intuition. I was disturbed realizing I’d been played, but the incident with Tim drove the message to act on your inner feelings, home. 

Healthy relationships are fashioned from openness and the ability to put things on the line. Is cheating in a relationship the end of the line, or  a shake up to assess and repair what is broken?

The second story is about the mental and physical toll cheating in a relationship takes, even after the couple decides to reconcile.

Caroline came to see me. She wanted to have a psychic reading and asked about her husband. She gave me his first name. I closed my eyes and heard, “You are worried about your husband remaining faithful.  He is a womanizer and a man addicted to sex.” It is startling to me, the receiver, of intuitive information, just how direct and uncensored the inner voice is. “Is this accurate” I asked? “Yes” she said. “We are in couple’s therapy, but I still don’t trust him. I don’t trust my own feelings either.  I want to know if you sense that he has strayed from our marriage again. I also want to know if you see me getting pregnant soon.”

What a dichotomy, I thought as I closed my eyes again.  After being betrayed more than once, she still had the desire to have a child with this man. And the following information came. “Did you have an abortion many years ago, a child you conceived with your husband when your marriage was on shaky ground?” I asked. Tearfully she admitted she had.

“I do not sense your husband is involved with another woman now, but I do feel your lack of trust and sorrow about having an abortion, much as it was the right decision at the time, is interfering on some level, with your ability to get pregnant. Perhaps you need more time to regain your faith and confidence in him. Your heart needs to heal. Take some time to replenish you. Engage in activities you love. You have suffered some deep emotional wounds. Were you a ballet dancer, years ago?” I continued. “Yes” she replied. “I think dancing again is a great way for you to re- own and realign yourself. It is also a way to beckon your spirit home.” “I have been thinking about dancing again. I was actually looking into modern dance class.”  She seemed relieved and uplifted when our session ended.

I welcome your thoughts and comments. If you are interested in setting up an appointment for a reading or couple’s counseling, click on the Contact Me page and send me an email.

 “Fine-tuning your intuition safeguards your future and opens doors to the extraordinary.”  ~Stephanie Rachel Alt, MS~