Finding a birth family, my daughter’s biological family in Vietnam, is nothing short of a miracle. It is testimony to the saying, “Where there is a will, there is a way.”

For children who are adopted the innate force to connect and clarify clouded emotion, is convoluted. How do you gear up knowing the search might be in vain? And if you find a birth family, what if the desire to meet is not reciprocal?  

She enthusiastically agreed to let me share this extraordinary event in our lives. We hope it will inspire and support your search and encourage you to persevere. We especially hope this story fosters compassion, and brings more insight to those of you trying to find family ties, in remote parts of the world where poverty is prevalent, and where parents find themselves in desperate straits to give their babies a better life.

“You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.” Richard Bach

I begin to sort through files reviewing our adoption papers. The information was very limited. I emailed the adoption agency we used in the United States, and the Director of the International Mission of Hope, who worked with the orphanages in Vietnam. The adoption agency and International Mission of Hope were no longer in operation! My heart sank. “Now where do I go” I asked myself. I remembered a site which I bookmarked years back, called Families with Children Adopted from Vietnam. I scrolled through more than a hundred names of alumni families, looking for those families who had adopted babies from Kien Giang Province. There were only a few who had adopted in 1995, when I did. I emailed them all, and to my amazement received a response! It was from a woman who referred me to Caroline Nguyen Ticarro -Parker, Director of Catalyst Foundation.
I initially emailed Caroline in the summer of 2010. She didn’t respond. I tried phoning and emailing numerous times to no avail, and decided to set the search aside for a bit. I told my daughter that I felt like I was paddling upstream without an oar, and needed some time to rest and regroup. She understood. In November, as fate or coincidence would have it, we met a woman working in a beauty shop, a few blocks from our home, who comes from the same province in Vietnam, as my daughter! In her fifteen years, at that time, we made it a point to meet and socialize with people from Vietnam. We ate at local restaurants and attended cultural events, including events hosted by Families with Children from Vietnam. We went to Colorado for a week, to a camp for families like ours, and never met anyone from Kien Giang Province, until that fated day in November.
Odd as it may sound, it seemed like a good omen and a spiritual sign, to venture forth and resume our search.
On November 30th I emailed Caroline. She answered the next day! She told me that Catalyst Foundation worked with a group of young women social workers who helped search for birth families. She put me in touch with Eurekaz Services and Miss Quynh Vu.
The amazing turn of events could and would not have happened without the impeccable research and follow up she and her co-workers did. Working in collaboration with Catalyst Foundation, both organizations are dedicated to improving the lives of orphaned, abandoned, and homeless children in Vietnam. Catalyst Foundation has a school and a Community Center located in Kien Giang, the area of Vietnam where my daughter was born.
In early December my daughter and I scanned and forwarded the documentation we had; eight papers which include a hand written substitute birth certificate, and a sparse medical report, child study and family history. We also sent images taken while she was in the orphanage during the first three months of her life.
And then we waited, what seemed like an eternity, for word back.
On February 13th I spoke with one of my oldest friends who inquired about the status of the birth parent search. “We are still waiting, but for some reason I feel we will be successful finding a birth family! 
The following morning, on Valentine’s Day, an email arrived with astonishing news! Our search team located and spoke with the woman responsible for processing all the dossiers from the Kien Giang Province. She remembered my daughter’s case! She also remembered the family’s individual case worker and agreed to lead our search team to what she believed was the home of my daughter’s birth mother.
Years unfolded seamlessly, in less than three months, and there is more.
The name on Nia’s substitute birth certificate is not the name she was given at birth. Her real first name is Mong Thy (pronounced Tee-a). Seven months into our adoption proceedings a thought popped into my mind. “Name her Nia. (Pronounced Nee-a) Her name needs to be short and sweet.”
I wanted a name that started with “N” to honor my mother, Naomi. She died  when I was very young. My mother’s birthday was March 7th. As the details about placing my daughter up for adoption were revealed, we learned that she was born at home, not in a clinic, and not abandoned. She was also not born on the day listed on her birth certificate. She was given to a social worker the family knew when she was twenty days old. With time changes, Vietnam being one day ahead of the United States, it is very possible that my daughter was born on or around March 7th, the same day as my mother.
Mrs. Xe (Seh), the biological mother, worked with a social worker to help receive military pension for her husband. Sadly he died when Mrs. Xe was pregnant. A few years later she remarried and had another daughter. She gave her last child the same middle name as my daughter’s fabricated name, which was given to her by the adoption officials and written on the substitute birth certificate. This name was Bich (Pronounced, Bit) and her half sister’s name is Bich Tuyen…                                                                                           

“Alice laughed. There’s no use trying,” she said. “One can’t believe impossible things.” “I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” Lewis Carroll

I welcome your comments.  If you need guidance dealing with the issues that surround finding a birth family, click on the “Contact Me” page to set up an appointment.